Archive Home Page >>The thing is, it is REALLY bothering me personally.
Anyone had any experience with this? Any advice?<<
Say what you feel like saying. They obviously don't care for your feelings, so why be overly bothered by theirs. Give them some direct feedback. Don't mince words or trade polite insults. Focus on the emotional content of what they're saying. Often you will with honest confrontation bring out what's really behind their posts.
If I could venture a guess, what is probably bothering you most is that they are trying to define you in ways that are inconsistant with your own internal identity. They're attempting to put you in a box filled with their own prejudices and misconceptions, and hates. No doubt the conversation makes them feel just a little bit superior to use an old SNL Church lady expression. There is nothing so endearing as people who either openly or secretly despise you, defining you, so they can then tell you what is wrong with you. Some even offer a panacea... if only you would reject yourself.
You can
1) Disengage.
2) Attempt to patiently educate them and recognize that some will never understand until they someday have to confront their own feelings on the subject.
3) Tell them what you think and feel and don't worry whether you get them to understand.
4) If it gets untenable, defend yourself with all necessary force (but resist the urge for revenge). This turn the other cheek stuff has been abused long enough. THEY certaintly don't live by that philosophy. Tough love is a two way street.
5) Recognize that you have more internal and external forces playing in your favor than may be readily apparent. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
You cannot get them to like you, but you can make them respect you.
joe